...as dictated to me by Princess Pearl (Natalie, 7) and Baby Princess Ella (Eden, 4).
- On presentation: "Why did you come dressed like that? You need to bring nice clothes next time so that you actually look like a queen." (once they realized I couldn't borrow one of their dresses)
- On motherhood: "Why aren't you married yet? We had a nanny and she was 30 and she had someone she wanted to marry and they weren't married yet... but she was thirty! It's bad to be old and pregnant. You don't want to be born from an old mommy." (when they saw a picture of Max on the background of my phone)
- On expiration dates: "I hope it's not old. That could make you die." (after I started chewing a piece of bubble gum they offered me)
- On pesky back hairs: "If [the detangling spray] gets on your arm, it's OK. See how it all clumps together? It will help all your arm hair and back hair detangle." (when they accidentally sprayed me with detangler)
- On death by aesthetics: "Don't put that many colors on because you could die that way." (as they put 12 different types of lip gloss on my lips/face)
I hope this helps you with any future royal/birthing/gum chewing endeavors.