Thursday, August 23, 2012

Which fig?

 Wise words of Sylvia Plath (introduced to me by a close friend):
"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out...
I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet." 
How perfectly articulated is she! I'm in the process of trying to convince myself that it is possible to gather up and feast upon every single one of the figs in my own life. I want to be noticed by a major publishing company. I want to graduate with honors and land some magical job in some magical place. I want to get married and start my own family. I want to study abroad, volunteer abroad, travel abroad, live abroad. I want so many things. Which ones will wrinkle and go black?

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