Monday, July 2, 2012

Still waiting on the "April Fool's!"

My brother is getting married in August. Though this is far from new news, I still struggle with the concept. Now, now, don't get me wrong; it is really, really exciting -- I was getting bored with Stephanie anyway, so it's about time there was a new sister in the mix.

What gets me is that it's Alex, my brother, the boy who hated girls. The boy who wouldn't touch cootie-ridden salsa that Stephanie and I "double dipped" in.  The boy who nearly tried killing (or maiming, incident still under review) me at the wee age of nine and unplugged all the phones in the house so I couldn't call mom for help. The boy who never appreciated the "HELLO ALEX" messages I would lovingly leave on the shower wall out of my hair.

THAT BOY.

And now, this boy:


Much like my near-death experience, it is unclear what happened here.

Steph and I went to Ashley's bridal shower this past weekend. Though I normally love bridal showers, I spent the better half of the week warming up my gag reflexes. All the gifts...jokes...etc...etc...would be about that boy. MY BROTHER. My imagination suffered a week from hell. It was then I decided that relatives of the groom-to-be should not be allowed at bridal showers.

Lucky for me, the shower was actually rather tame and my gag reflexes gathered a little dust. It was, dare I say it, really fun! Can you even dream of saying otherwise about an event with cookies n' cream cupcakes (complete with oreo bottoms)?

However, if and when I ever am the cause for the need of a bridal shower, I will insist that I host the party, decorate for the party, have the party. I will invite no one. I will sit by myself, spend approximately 90 minutes making dirty jokes, pop the balloons and call it a night.

5 comments:

Janice said...

Oh Betsy! I know how you feel. To me, Alex is still that cute little blonde haired boy that I used to babysit when we lived at Fort Leonard Wood. And of course, you are still that darling little baby that everyone thought was mine when your mom and I would take you out shopping.

Danielle said...

Hey Betsy, just creepin' on your new layout and it looks great! keep it up~

d a n i e l l e | daniellewu.com

Macy Halladay said...

You're writing is KILLER. Like your art. I want to be you, cuz.

Jenna & Skylar Stewart said...

So when I had one of my bridal showers with some of my girl friends and one of my sister-in-laws they were talking about the dirty...and lets just say every time she'd say my bros name-I'd get a dirty image..yikes...I finally said lets just call him husband so I don't see my brother's face! ugh it still makes me gag!

Betsy said...

Hahahaha! Jenna, I feel you. I'm so glad I only have one brother.