Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Forget the give and take

I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever like interviews. Ever.

Alright, rewind:

I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever like being interviewed. Ever.

Conducting interviews is one thing -- I love talking to a person while they're vulnerable and ready (or not) to disclose the information I want from them. I love getting to know the person in question and confirming/denying any preconceived notions I had about them. It's probably some sick power trip obsession, but I do love those moments. And it is because I've been on that other side that I understand why I hate the side I had to sit on today. The interviewee. The losing team. The vulnerable, blubbering fool attempting to disclose the perfect amount of the perfect information.

I had a conference call interview today with two gentlemen who have the power to grant me a once-in-a-lifetime internship opportunity in a regal land far, far away. I spent the last few days reading up on certain important things in hopes to be better versed in their "language" and, consequently, a better fit for the position at hand - at the very least, I hoped my studying would serve as witness to my work ethic and willingness to learn.

I'm not unqualified, perse...just, uninformed.

And that is something I hate to admit. Hate, hate, hate (yes, this hatred is worthy of a triple-worder). I'm the first to admit I'm proud of my ability to think critically and, consequently, often the last to admit when I don't know something. And during this phone interview of sorts, I had to admit that. A lot.

Of course, I'm hoping my acknowledged inferiority quickly followed by a promised desire and ability to learn quickly will serve as a testament to my eiligbility. Heck, I think I'm eligible. Capable, even.

I think I would kick some serious donkey.

But that determination does not lie with me.

I found myself sputtering lines I had planned on incorporating somehow -- in all the wrong moments. Homer says it best (the yellow Homer, not the noseless statue-ified Homer): Doh.

Lesson learned: Thinking too much about an interview before it begins is the first way to slaughter it. Instead, be genuine, answer honestly and leave all that prepared verbage where it belongs. If you are deemed unqualified, you'll both be better off.

Lesson learned: Thinking too much about an interview after it is already over is the first way to drive everyone (yourself included) insane.

For now, I'll shut my shaky and apparently uncontrollable yapper and wait for the verdict.

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