Saturday, January 30, 2010

When I was Young...

I read Tyler's blog and couldn't resist:

When I was young...

...I, not unlike other children, was petrified of monsters. If ever asked to go into our basement, I'd sprint down the stairs so the monster hands wouldn't emerge from beneath quickly enough to grab me. I'd jump over four feet from my bedroom door onto my bed so the hands couldn't reach me. It was more the hands themselves instead of the monster as a whole that I was afraid of. (They also lived under my deck, but that's another story).

...I used to pray to God that my dolls would come to life. I promised I'd never tell anyone about them if he would do that for me. I would even force myself to cry to be more convincing. Every night I'd ask how their days were to see if they'd respond.

...Clearly, I was a child guided by fantasies. I also used to pray for the ability of flight and "knew" that one day I'd be flying to school while everyone else walked.

...My first grade teacher was an alien. Her short hair and slim figure told me so.

...I was certain that I'd be a hero. When driving around with my mom on her errands, I'd pick a random car and memorize its license plate and jot down a description of its driver - just in case they turned up on the news as wanted criminals.

...I had this horrible paranoia that thinking too much abotu certain things would land me in a coma. I'd ask myself, "How did everything come to be?" (I'm sure not in those exact terms.) I knew God created the world. Well, what/who created God? What/who created what/who created God? How did the initial bit of mass ever come to be? I would think about it frequently, but not for long periods of time in fear that I'd go permanently unconscious. I didn't want to end up like people on TV who (clearly...) were in comas for that reason.

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